Fernie's my roommate in college. We were together from 1995-2002? fERniE, the walking calculator. She majored in Statistics. She talks in her sleep, asking me to go to Philcoa to buy coke (oppss, coca-cola or soda as they call it here). I'd say yes but only if she tells me the answer to the equation 3X + 8000 Y of 17z over 576% of $19,000. She would respond automatically. Yes, even in her sleep. And I simply believed her. The hell, how am I supposed to know? I never claimed I'm good with numbers. During exam days, Fernie would place her books underneath her pillow. As if its contents would be naturally transposed to her cerebellum. Most likely it was the case because she had always dealt with her exams effortlessly. Whenever we'd go to the grocery or eat out, we, her roommates, make it a point that she comes, because she just looks at the figure and pronto, she knows the total and how much our individual shares would be. Very useful during sale season. Say Php574.85, 35% off. Somehow, you wouldn't want caught pulling out your cell fone to compute. But with Fernie around, you're in good hands. Yeah, just like the saying goes, "one look is all it took".
An unforgettable feat with Fernie? Hah! One day while the dawn was silently breaking, there was a loud ThumP!!! Janet, occupant of loft bed #1, yours truly, occupant of lower bunk #1, and just directly across, Leilani, occupant of loft bed #2, altogether turned to look at the source of noise. Sprawled on the floor was Fernie. Indeed, the very same occupant of LOWER bed #2, was the culprit. She stole the silence and peacefulness of dawn. And as if all three of us didn't know how to think logically, Fernie had to explain, "I fell off my bed."Hey Fernie, congratulations on your wedding! Please do not give Emerson a hard time. Like us, he surely knows you're good with numbers and probabilities. He wouldn't interfere with budgeting for sure, and his remittances will go directly to you. Of course, he's also aware that you can compute probabilities, so he wouldn't take chances. Relax and just enjoy your new role ok? So much of expertise on numbers. Proceed with the 'social sciences'...
BriDaL ProFiLe #2: [FOrMeR] BeAutY QueeN
oFFiciaL naMe now: Mei LahNnY CaY-DoNaiRe
A regular head-turner; a real-looker, she is. Campus sweetheart; Miss super popular; Miss Socorro; Muse of every team you can think of in our town's sports league, and even during our intramurals at school; heart throb, you get the drift. Yup, from gradeschool all throughout high school years. With a smart head on top of hear shoulder and an angel-like character. A very caring daughter, and uber responsible sister. You wouldn't think it's possible, how can she be so blessed? But in a nushell that's really Mei. Or Mayang [pronounced as Ma-Young with stress on the second syllable] as we, her closest friends like to call her.
An unforgettable feat with Mayang? Lemme think...Can we escape this? Can't think of any. Ok, ok, I was obviously on the dark side!!! But who cares? We are friends, and we transcended boundaries...Actually, she did. On September 29, 2002, she crossed sides har! har! Who would forget the PICC gig we had, right Mayang?
Imagine us hanging out, one clear night, laughing talking about our all-time-favorite subjects--gradeschool and highschool days and dorky classmates, when a police car stopped and rounded us up! Our violation: drinking in public. God, I swear I was having Gatorade! 100% sure. I don't drink beer for the life of me!!!! She, and the rest of the group were having canned beers! But you know, we are friends so even I, had to sacrifice despite my ultra apparent innocence.
And so the drama went on. We next found our arses lined up inside the tiny precinct. Yes, the mini police station in PICC (it was ages ago the precint # escaped me now), but the one across the bike rental spot. The very same precinct across the ferry dock going to Bataan. The scene on soap operas, or typical action movies, unfolded before us. {Talk about "Sting and the Police"} Tada!!! We were the stars. A police officer in front of a stone-age typewritter was barking: Your name, age and the usual ramblings of "if you don't want this to drag on, you should cooperate"; "the city hall is closed because it's Saturday, so you'll be brought to Pasay City Jail in the meantime, and your arraignment would be on Monday", blah, blah, blah...Mayang of course was the lead actress. Beauty and fiesty, we left her to do most of the arguing with Mr. Policeman. The villainess (guess who) managed to ask Mr. Policeman (1) which City Ordinance did the beautiful bunch of people violate, and (2) given the fact that the beautiful ones were guilty of possession (of a can or two of unopened beers), can Mr. Police Officer please explain what is the minimum alcohol content indicated in the [unforgotten] ordinance number to qualify for a genuine violation thereof before the poor gatorade-drunk actress was asked to shut up. Sure, we support prevention...
And dig this! Mr. Police Officer did not read "the suspects" their Miranda right chuva. Either he did not know that himself, or the "you have 3 lifelines, which do you want to use first?" was their version in that station. Indeed. We were actually asked NOT "to remain silent for anything we say might be used against us." (God, I was waiting for that, as I see it on movies, tsk! tsk!) Instead, upon his command, we had to choose which lifeline to use. Smart-arses that we are, we obviously chose "call a friend". So all of us called our respective lawyer-friends. A few hours thereafter, Mayang's lawyer-uncle, and Jane's journalist friend came. We had the last laugh. Sorry police officers at PICC Police Station. We don't bribe. We fight fairly and we get away clean. Our records remained untarnished. Ah sweet revenge, right Mayang? We ended up holing in her apartment, speechless initially (because her uncle was there) and laughing heartily afterwards.
I never met Reggie, the lucky half, but I'm sure you deserve each other. Geez, it's about time. You've been together for 300 years! Hey, take care of yourself there ok? Don't drink too much, or better yet, don't get caught again. You're super faw away now for your uncle to rescue...Oh well, you have your man beside you anyway, so go ahead, be merry my friend.
I could go on, but the other brides talked to me on condition of confidentiality. I have to maintain my uber credibility, naturally. But while I'm at it, I reiterate my best wishes to my closest friends who walked down the aisle not too long ago, mostly last year to be exact.
Lurpee & Kris
Sly;
Murfy;
aNeT
Baby Jane
jErLie
Mihjan
With Fernie and Mayang, the list goes on. I am not asking who's next...
