so i've heard

we're left to carry on...

but we're keeping your spirit and all your values & wisdom bustling!

Heaven*

I've looked into the sky a hundred times
And I've seen the stars that shine so bright
I'm sure that one of them is you
Watching and waiting and hoping that I'll be alright
So take care and don't go too far
I will miss your soul

*moonpools & caterpillars*

Do you know him?

Surprsingly, I was being very sociable these past few days. It must be the weather...

I went to the Philippine Independence Day Celebration last Sunday. Since I'm consistently a latecomer, I missed the parade. Tsk! tsk! My guess is that my guardian angel saved me from committing anymore sins (it's very likely that I would have made disparaging remarks).

Let's just go to the best part as far as I'm concerned. Which was when Rubberband played. Rubberband...man alive, how shall I explain? Rubberband being a band's name and not the elastic strip thing? Nevermind...Not that I'm a fan, obviously I can't even name their members. Anyway, I got the chance to see them perform in the past so I'm familiar with their music somehow. Hmmm...they've got a new bassist. Or he's probably been with the band for quite a while. Or he's a sub. Whatever. I just saw him that day period. And boy, it's been ages since I've had a crush...I mean apart from Hugh Jackman, Ethan Hawke, Josh Hartnett, Ryan Agoncillo, you know...See I'm even devoting an entry for him. I tried to take his photo. I really tried, after all we're right in front of the stage. But this is the most decent (my camera's already zoomed in...)

I asked my friend who's into photography and who's got a better cam to take his picture. I guess he never did. And he says he's gay therefore I stand no chance whatsoever. Hah!how can you tell? Your explanation wasn't plausible and if anything, utterly ridiculous!!! You are so supportive and encouraging you know? Oh..unless you used to be (or still) a couple. Now that explains the matter-of-fact tone. Fine!

I asked another friend of mine whose band usually does shows with Rubberband. But he's equally supportive, he just snorted. Arghhhh...Is there something wrong with Mr. New Bassist?

Final recourse: I checked their friendster profile from where I got a better photo (a close-up shot folks). However, my stalking attempts didn't get me any further because I'm not their friend and we're not closely connected. End of story....

to be an OFW

I have the sudden urge to change my template, as you can see. No reason whatsoever. Or maybe, deep down, I just wanted to quash my disappointment. As if buying 3 pairs of shoes was not enough! Hey ulikba, they're on sale ok? Dammit, I can't help it. Besides, they have size 6!!!! Winner. (Freaky, my phone's ringing now as I write. Man alive! Who would want to talk to me at this hour? The last I checked Dr. House's not at my side and he's got his own beeper nyahaha). Never mind that.

Anyway, before I went to that shoe store last night, my great desire to be with an immediate family here for good escaped me again. I was on the phone with my sis and we were once again rationalizing on why I am here when she's the one who's been planning to migrate here. No clue. What it is that they say? Life is like a revolving door and where you are is merely a result of where your feet happen to step on. I guess I was so hyped up, I miscalculated my step and there's no reverse; only numerous exits leading to God knows where. Whatever….The only reason I could think of is that God spared me of seeing Apple leave. For all my kaastigan, you know I am a softie when it comes to him.

Funny coz my being here was also the center of my conversation with my brother last Saturday, which goes like this:

Me: Hey Ulikba, how are you?
J: Fine. Hey ate, tell me, what exactly are you doing there?
Me: Huh? (Totally clueless as to what he's hinting at. God, I too have this notion that I am still floating through life, ok?)
J: I meant, what kind of work do you actually do?
Me: (Now that's better) Why the sudden interest?
J: Well it's just that I saw this "I love New York" teleseries with Jolina and Marvin...
Me: Oh yeah, I heard about that being shot here. My friend was one of the cameramen...
J: (irritated and abruptly cutting me off) We're not talking about your friend here. It's just that the show tells the story of these overseas workers and the things they go through there just to send money and support their starving families back home--like waiting on tables, doing the dishes, distributing flyers...
Me: (now my chance to swiftly cut him off too) Hey, you have no right to judge these people who are earning an honest living here because you don't know a damn thing!
J: I am not judging them. I am just concerned about you. I mean, if you are doing that kind of job there, all by yourself and super (he did use that word, 'super') far away from all of us, you better just come home. We are happier here, you have a career here, and we can still afford to feed you, you know.
Me: I see. (Touched. I could've melted). Thanks but I'm fine bro, really (and proceeded to tell him what exactly's my work here).
J: Besides ate, there's not much of a difference at all. You're still anti-bandwagon. You never send money anyway (his laughter reverberates)...

Bloody twisted brother, he is! If I know, he just misses me more than he cares to admit, especially that he lost his female version when I left. Nonetheless, I laughed with him too. Because it's true. I never sent any remittances, except on special occasion. In fact, the only time I went to this Filipino remittance office to do so, I got the looks which somewhat says, "You’re absurd!". You see, I asked what's the exchange rate and I was told it's P50 to $1 (from P52 to $1). To which I replied, "oh that's great, at least our peso is somewhat gaining leverage". Oh well...absurdity and irony are definitely my favorites!