(Stay) Faraway, So Close

This is actually an offshoot of my friend's Debasement Tapes entry in her blog (dated July 7, 2007).

This is bizzare. Me talking about this stuff haha. Contrary to my long lost friend who claims I do not have a heart and that i'm an 'Ice Queen' (Hey, where are you now? you know who you are), I actually do have one. Okai, if you still doubt that, at least I have the patience for going through song lyrics.

Hmmm....here's what I think on heartaches:

It's useless exhausting yourself denying or fighting the pain. When you truly love, you open yourself to vulnerability so you are bound to get hurt. When the relationship ends, I guess you just need to bathe in the pain until you feel fully cleansed, rejuvenated and all that crap haha. Then it's time to dry yourself and go get dressed for another adventure...Hell yeah--keep the spirit! And if it gets fucked-up again, there will be new debasement songs to heal a broken heart/spirit haha.

So....debasement songs.....Offhand here are what I like:

1. Smoke and Ashes {Tracy Chapman}

I was blinded by devotion, my unwavering love for you. So blinded that I thought all your lies were true. But now I know for certain since you've gone away, it was just a smoldering fire I mistook for a blaze...only smoke and ashes baby.

2. Last Goodbye {Jeff Buckley}

This is our last goodbye, I hate to feel the love between us die. But it's over...Why can't we overcome this wall? Well, maybe it's just because I didn't know you at all...Kiss me, please kiss me. But kiss me out of desire, babe, and not consolation...

{Can't get enough of Buckley...I love his Lover you should've come over}

3. You're So Cruel {U2}

We crossed the line, who pushed who over? It doesn't matter to you. It matters to me. We're cut adrift but still floating. I'm only hanging on to watch you go down...My love, I disappeared in you, you disappeared from me. I gave you everything you ever wanted. It wasn't what you wanted...You say in love there are no rules...love...sweetheart...You're so cruel...

4. Fake Plastic Trees {Radiohead}

She looks like the real thing. She tastes like the real thing. My Fake Plastic Love. But I can't help the feeling...And it wears me out, it wears me out...And if I could be who you wanted...If I could be who you wanted, all the time...

5. Comeback (Pearl Jam)

And these days they linger on...And in the night i've been waiting for the real possibility that I may meet you in my dreams so I go to sleep...

6. Strip My Mind {Red Hot Chili Peppers}

Sing another song. Make me feel like I'm in love again - hey (You gotta lose to win)...Please don't strip my mind. Leave something behind. Please don't strip my mind...

7. Barely Breathing {Duncan Sheik}

I am barely breathing and I can’t find the air. I don’t know who I’m kidding, imagining you care. And I could stand here waiting a fool for another day. I don't suppose it's worth the price I have to pay. But I'm thinking it over anyway...I rise above or sink below, with every time you come and go. Please don’t come and go...

I could go on and on...but these are all for now. Ciao!

another one bites the dust

This time it's Alva, a childhood friend who migrated to the US when we're 7. Thanks to modern technology and real bonding, we remain friends thru the years. So, I am honored to accept her invitation to be her bridesmaid.

Quick Review: There were 6 of us who were constantly playmates back then.

1. Jerome (the eldest). I just saw on his friendster profile that he is happily in love. We can assume he'd go next.
2. Mayang (second to the eldest). She's happily married and has a cutie baby now. When did you get married bru?
3. Nerry May (middle tropa). She just got hitched on 5/5/07 with Joni.
4. Alva (next in line) who actually did on 7/7/7
5. Jerlie (second to the youngest). I think she's the first to get married a couple of years back and
6. IJ, yours truly (the youngest lol). Well, the waiting continues.........

And it occured to me that...

1. Save for Glen, whom I just met last week understandably, I never actually got to meet any of your significant others people. Not even Joni whom Mimi dated for years, nor Reggie of Mayang. What a shame! Where were we?

2. It's no joke walking down the aisle. Sheezzzz...I felt really suffocated inside the church while walking and keeping this "fake smile" as they all watched me (or so it seemed).

3. I never really had any thoughts on weddings. In particular, on how it's gonna be per se, until I attended Alva and Glen's. Since I missed out a lot of weddings, of those closest to me, hers sort of made up for everything. So seeing it firsthand, man alive! I was overwhelmed. I actually got scared hahaha. I guess I'm not cut for weddings...But if I ever get to that point, it's clear to me now that I want an outdoor one, and preferably ultra private. I don't like too many people around (hint: few invites hahaha).

4. As an offshoot, I think it's really impractical to spend so much on a one-day-affair. Might as well spend it on travelling with your hubby. Oh well, to each his own.

5. Lastly, I really can't imagine changing my name. Ughh..what if I don't meet someone with the same family name as mine? Tough call eh? LOL

Favorite persons:

First, let me tell you about Tito Jun, the make up artist. For some reason he was so fond of me and really pampered me as he was doing my make up. Yeah, he's gay. And he goes, "oy hija, i'll do your make up when you get married ha? I'll fly to NY." Hmmmm...I said, "Let's both hope you are still in business by then."

Two, Edward my toy soldier. Jeezzz....we used to play holen (marbles) and lastiko (rubberband) back then. He hardly remembers me now. We lost touch. I was so many years his senior anyway, you don't expect us to really touch base. And then we met again. I was surprised to learn that the kid joined the army at 18 and he actually served in Iraq and Afghanistan for 2 damn years. He's just 22! Can we please stop the war? (espc. that his folks want to make me their daughter-in-law?) LOL.

Major blooper: I kept calling the guy who was introduced to me "Wilson". His name is Michael. Sounds the same eh?

Celebrity sightings: Mike Tyson. Of all people I'd see in Hollywood.

All in all it was so much fun. I'm a good guest =)