keep the spirit!

Red Hot Heart and Ice-Cold Feet

2007-08-19T18:14:00.000-04:00

August 12, 2007

Dear Pards,

Unforgettable you! I do remember. Guess what, Sting fever is still running in my system after watching his concert and see what I found... Three years ago this wouldn't have meant anything to me. Strangely though, he perfectly articulated all the things that I've done:

What possible difference would throwing a handful of soil onto a coffin make to [him] or me? Part of me still believes this to be true, [but] part of me knows I was simply afraid. I escaped the ritual...for the simple fact that I didn't want to, because escape and the need to keep moving had by now become endemic in me....But there was a psychological price. I couldn't mourn properly so I carried the grief with me. I couldn't cry or reveal my feelings even to myself, fearful I would be overwhelmed, my carefully constructed self-image destroyed to reveal absolutely nothing beneath. {Sting, 2003 in Broken Music}

Of course, I still got no excuse. But intuitively, why do I feel that you share the veiled sarcasm and understand the irony here?

I do hope you are well...I miss you big time.

Love always,
Katrina

Yelp#1

2007-08-15T15:24:00.000-04:00

Currently listening to Macy Gray's [On How Life Is, 1999]
On a self-imposed break

Fast Facts:
1. Barnes & Noble membership has expired.
2. Can't find the Borders membership card. Can't even remember the username and password. Coupons expiring.
3. No Strand around tsk, tsk...
4. Relatively successful in trying my hardest not to spend on paperbacks and cds, among others
5. Blue, my laptop, has become a host only to my music library and nothing else.

Recourse: I checked the library in my new neighborhood. And applied for a membership card.
Ambiance: actually not a place I want to linger at.
Demographics: no big deal
Service: granny's ok, very efficient but really slow, understandably; a wifi spot; bestsellers available for rent @25c a day (in case you don't want to wait I was told)
Selection: didn't check on the prints yet. But finding Sting's memoir, Broken Music, is definitely a good start. [Praytell, how can I stop loving him?]

So I was there for audio and dvds. But Houston we have a problem! I've seen almost all of the movies they have on DVD. Save of course for this self-help and exercise regimen stuff (nah thanks). I don't fancy horror flicks but they do have about 20 of those. Not much of indie films. But they got some foreign films I wanna check out. Oh and dig this, I borrowed Goodbye my Concubine and to my amusement, I had to pay a dollar? Apparently that's the policy. DVD = $1.00. I was like, might as well reactivate my Netflix account! Thank God CDs are free, but that doesn't make any difference cause I don't fancy their collection.

Ahhh....I miss the NYPL. Ok, I guess miss NYC more than I care to admit.

I was actually planning on going to the village/union square area last Sunday, eat at this Thai rest. I love, go back to Strand, the Virgin Music store and all that, but my slacker self gets the better of me. And.....frankly, it somehow throws me that I am becoming a number in the consumerist tab. Have I drifted too far out to go back? pffff!!!

Checklist/Wishlist

2007-08-13T05:43:00.001-04:00

While still in concert spirit...

Among my all-time favorites, managed to see:
1. U2
2. Red Hot Chili Peppers
3. Sting and the Police.

It wasn't bad catching:
1. Lenny Kravitz (hotness!)
2. John MAyer

Even watched the oldies (hehe):

1. Earth, Wind and Fire

2. Chicago

3. Eagles

I wish Cobain, Mercury, Hendrix, & Marley didn't die so early. But with all-seriousness: I want to see RADIOHEAD !!! I'll be full by then, promise.

Okai, for some bonus attraction, it wouldn't hurt to see REM [what are the chances that they'd hook up again?]; Pearl Jam [they're not up to much recently, disbanded?]; Aerosmith [yup, that dude rocks albeit old age lol. We couldn't get tickets last year]; Morrisey [he recently performed at MSG daw but i freaking missed it. where was i? damn!]; Smashing Pumpkins [whatever happened to them? are they back on again or what?]; Audioslave [they released an album last year but didn't go on tour. what gives?]; Metallica [I haven't the faintest idea what they're up to nowadays]. And...Our Lady of Peace and Live [wala na rin ba sila?], The Strokes, The Bravery, The Killers, Deftones, DMB, Chapman, Norah Jones... ok i'll stop now.

Oh well, wishlist....And time is running out....I can't complain though. I am in fact thankful dahil dati, part din lang sila ng wishlist ko pero I got to see them yey!

Stung!

2007-08-07T19:47:00.000-04:00

Saw The Police's Reunion Concert last Sunday at the Giants' Stadium. One of those last minute things...Thank God we made it =) yey!

Admittedly, I was there for Sting. But I was awed by Copeland. Thus far, I'd say he's the best drummer I've ever seen perform. No joke. I am not a musician but man alive! This guy is something....I dunno how they were on their other concerts. All I know is we got our money's worth that night in Jersey. The Police still rocks. Sting, Copeland and Summers still make good music and lively performance together after all these years. They all seemed to enjoy playing and I think they pretty much connected with the huge and cooperative crowd. Wonderful =)

I checked some reviews and it looks like the set list is consistent:

1. Message in a Bottle
2. Synchronicity II
3. Don’t Stand So Close to Me
4. Voices Inside My Head/When the World is Running Down
5. Spirits in the Invisible World
6. Driven to Tears
7. Walking on the Moon
8. Truth Hits Everybody
9. Every Little Thing She Does is Magic
10. Wrapped Around Your Finger (my fave of all)
11. The Bed’s Too Big Without You
12. De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da
13. Invisible Sun
14. Walking in Your Footsteps
15. Can’t Stand Losing You (hey, you with me????)
16. Roxanne

ENCORE 1
17. King of Pain (ahhhh...at this point I was just there breathless...)
18. So Lonely (could I love this song any more?)

ENCORE 2
19. Every Breath You Take
20. Next to You

The selection could have been better, but no more grand complaints. Oh yeah, no cams allowed. I could have slipped it, the girl just smiled at me and let me through. But how can I tell right? And he was right, the parking lot is way too far from the stadium's entrance. Too much of a hassle to take it back if I get searched. (I do obey rules sometimes hehe).

At the risk of sounding emo, I confess: the concert was wayyyyy tooooo personal for me. It's bloody bittersweet as I listen to Sting belt out those songs. With real poetic, meaningful and ironic lyrics. Been a huge fan. Remember humming the Dododo-dadada as a kid. And in college, knowing he was a teacher made me proud I was a BA English Major once (lol). Of course, he also started my fascination with englishmen =)

Was really struck. Seeing him perform live. Another one of few times that I genuinely appreciate being here. More so after realizing that last night was their last stint here in the US. We're stuck in the parking lot looking at the t-shirt he bought, with all the tour dates haha. And we were laughing like children for having made it. Yeah, it doesn't really take much to make me happy.

Ahhh... I'm stung all over again.

(Stay) Faraway, So Close

2007-07-18T23:17:00.000-04:00

This is actually an offshoot of my friend's Debasement Tapes entry in her blog (dated July 7, 2007).

This is bizzare. Me talking about this stuff haha. Contrary to my long lost friend who claims I do not have a heart and that i'm an 'Ice Queen' (Hey, where are you now? you know who you are), I actually do have one. Okai, if you still doubt that, at least I have the patience for going through song lyrics.

Hmmm....here's what I think on heartaches:

It's useless exhausting yourself denying or fighting the pain. When you truly love, you open yourself to vulnerability so you are bound to get hurt. When the relationship ends, I guess you just need to bathe in the pain until you feel fully cleansed, rejuvenated and all that crap haha. Then it's time to dry yourself and go get dressed for another adventure...Hell yeah--keep the spirit! And if it gets fucked-up again, there will be new debasement songs to heal a broken heart/spirit haha.

So....debasement songs.....Offhand here are what I like:

1. Smoke and Ashes {Tracy Chapman}

I was blinded by devotion, my unwavering love for you. So blinded that I thought all your lies were true. But now I know for certain since you've gone away, it was just a smoldering fire I mistook for a blaze...only smoke and ashes baby.

2. Last Goodbye {Jeff Buckley}

This is our last goodbye, I hate to feel the love between us die. But it's over...Why can't we overcome this wall? Well, maybe it's just because I didn't know you at all...Kiss me, please kiss me. But kiss me out of desire, babe, and not consolation...

{Can't get enough of Buckley...I love his Lover you should've come over}

3. You're So Cruel {U2}

We crossed the line, who pushed who over? It doesn't matter to you. It matters to me. We're cut adrift but still floating. I'm only hanging on to watch you go down...My love, I disappeared in you, you disappeared from me. I gave you everything you ever wanted. It wasn't what you wanted...You say in love there are no rules...love...sweetheart...You're so cruel...

4. Fake Plastic Trees {Radiohead}

She looks like the real thing. She tastes like the real thing. My Fake Plastic Love. But I can't help the feeling...And it wears me out, it wears me out...And if I could be who you wanted...If I could be who you wanted, all the time...

5. Comeback (Pearl Jam)

And these days they linger on...And in the night i've been waiting for the real possibility that I may meet you in my dreams so I go to sleep...

6. Strip My Mind {Red Hot Chili Peppers}

Sing another song. Make me feel like I'm in love again - hey (You gotta lose to win)...Please don't strip my mind. Leave something behind. Please don't strip my mind...

7. Barely Breathing {Duncan Sheik}

I am barely breathing and I can’t find the air. I don’t know who I’m kidding, imagining you care. And I could stand here waiting a fool for another day. I don't suppose it's worth the price I have to pay. But I'm thinking it over anyway...I rise above or sink below, with every time you come and go. Please don’t come and go...

I could go on and on...but these are all for now. Ciao!

another one bites the dust

2007-07-15T23:55:00.000-04:00

This time it's Alva, a childhood friend who migrated to the US when we're 7. Thanks to modern technology and real bonding, we remain friends thru the years. So, I am honored to accept her invitation to be her bridesmaid.

Quick Review: There were 6 of us who were constantly playmates back then.

1. Jerome (the eldest). I just saw on his friendster profile that he is happily in love. We can assume he'd go next.
2. Mayang (second to the eldest). She's happily married and has a cutie baby now. When did you get married bru?
3. Nerry May (middle tropa). She just got hitched on 5/5/07 with Joni.
4. Alva (next in line) who actually did on 7/7/7
5. Jerlie (second to the youngest). I think she's the first to get married a couple of years back and
6. IJ, yours truly (the youngest lol). Well, the waiting continues.........

And it occured to me that...

1. Save for Glen, whom I just met last week understandably, I never actually got to meet any of your significant others people. Not even Joni whom Mimi dated for years, nor Reggie of Mayang. What a shame! Where were we?

2. It's no joke walking down the aisle. Sheezzzz...I felt really suffocated inside the church while walking and keeping this "fake smile" as they all watched me (or so it seemed).

3. I never really had any thoughts on weddings. In particular, on how it's gonna be per se, until I attended Alva and Glen's. Since I missed out a lot of weddings, of those closest to me, hers sort of made up for everything. So seeing it firsthand, man alive! I was overwhelmed. I actually got scared hahaha. I guess I'm not cut for weddings...But if I ever get to that point, it's clear to me now that I want an outdoor one, and preferably ultra private. I don't like too many people around (hint: few invites hahaha).

4. As an offshoot, I think it's really impractical to spend so much on a one-day-affair. Might as well spend it on travelling with your hubby. Oh well, to each his own.

5. Lastly, I really can't imagine changing my name. Ughh..what if I don't meet someone with the same family name as mine? Tough call eh? LOL

Favorite persons:

First, let me tell you about Tito Jun, the make up artist. For some reason he was so fond of me and really pampered me as he was doing my make up. Yeah, he's gay. And he goes, "oy hija, i'll do your make up when you get married ha? I'll fly to NY." Hmmmm...I said, "Let's both hope you are still in business by then."

Two, Edward my toy soldier. Jeezzz....we used to play holen (marbles) and lastiko (rubberband) back then. He hardly remembers me now. We lost touch. I was so many years his senior anyway, you don't expect us to really touch base. And then we met again. I was surprised to learn that the kid joined the army at 18 and he actually served in Iraq and Afghanistan for 2 damn years. He's just 22! Can we please stop the war? (espc. that his folks want to make me their daughter-in-law?) LOL.

Major blooper: I kept calling the guy who was introduced to me "Wilson". His name is Michael. Sounds the same eh?

Celebrity sightings: Mike Tyson. Of all people I'd see in Hollywood.

All in all it was so much fun. I'm a good guest =)

Chicken Shit?

2007-06-27T15:59:00.000-04:00

35 Facts About Yourself. Be honest no matter what.

1. What is your natural hair color? = DARK BROWN

2. Where was your profile picture taken? = ORLANDO AIRPORT, FLORIDA

3. What's your middle name? = MARCUS

4. Your current relationship status? = SO-SO haha. AMBIGUOUS.

5. Does your crush like you back? = YOU MEAN RICO BLANCO? HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW I EXIST. WITH THE OTHER ONE? I DON'T KNOW. NEVER HAD THE CHANCE TO FIND OUT.

6. What is your current mood? = HAZY?

7. Ever joined clubs or organizations just to be at least 80%visible to your crush? = NAHHH THANKS.

8. What makes you happy? = RIGHT NOW? DRIVING NOWHERE & FINDING MY WAY BACK. AND KNOWING THAT MY FAMILY IS OK.

9. If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be? = I'D GIVE HIM A LONGER LIFE. TRADE MINE IF NECESSARY.

10. If you must be an animal for one day, what would you be? = AN EAGLE OR A PENGUIN

11. Ever had a near death experience? = LET'S JUST SAY I'D BEEN CATATONIC FOR ABOUT A COUPLE OF YEARS. LIKE BEING 4 FEET UNDER.

12. Something you do a lot? = SLEEP

13. What's the name of the song stuck in your head right now? = LAST GOODBYE BY JEFF BUCKLEY

14. Who did you copy and paste this from? MARICEL

15. Name someone with the same birthday as you. = MIRO VALERA OF STONEFREE (MY COLLEGE ROOMMATE'S HUGE CRUSH BACK THEN)

16. When was the last time you cried? = AUGUST 2004

17. Have you ever sung in front of a large audience? = NOT THAT I RECALL

18. If you could have one superpower what would it be? = BE ABLE TO APPARATE

19. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? = NORMALLY HEIGHT AND OVERALL BEARING

20. What do you usually order from starbucks? = CAFE AMERICANO

21. What's your biggest secret? = I DON'T LIKE TO SAY

22. Favorite color? = BLACK & WHITE

23. When was the last time you lied? = HMMM...DOES KEEPING MY MOUTH SHUT BECAUSE I WAS ASKED NOT TO SAY A WORD COUNT? IF SO, THEN LAST MONTH.

24. What are you eating or drinking at the moment? = SMIRNOFF ICE & POTATO CHIPS

25. Do you speak any other languages? = NOPE BUT I WISH

26. What's your favorite smell? = THE BEACH; JUST CAME OUT OF THE SHOWER SMELL; AND RIGHT NOW I REALLY LIKE RALPH LAUREN STYLE

27. If you could describe your life in one word what would it be? = TWISTED

28. When was the last time you gave/received a hug? = LAST NIGHT

29. Have you ever been kissed in the rain? = I DON'T THINK SO.

30. What are you thinking about right now? = HMMM...HOW LONG DO YOU DRIFT UNTIL YOU CALL IT QUITS?

31. What should you be doing? = GET SOME DISCIPLINE.

32. What was the last thing that made you upset/angry? = SOME INACTION SOMEWHERE

33. Do you like working in the yard? = GARDEN, YES.

34. If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want? = NONE. I LOVE MY LAST NAME. I'D LIKE TO KEEP IT EVEN AFTER MARRIAGE (IF I'LL EVER GET TO THAT POINT LOL).
35. Do you act differently around your crush? = OH YEAH, I'M YOUR TYPICAL DORK.

all through the night*

2007-05-30T01:11:00.001-04:00

Getting really listless.
Clean-up extends to giving 'my alien planet' a new look.
Yup, IJ's actually listening to it*...
Why now eh?
Sheezzz...this is the side-effect of Jack.
Just finished with Season 2 while reformatting.
Too much of 24!

preoccupations

2007-05-28T23:18:00.000-04:00

In between drinking and my version of spring cleaning, I was glued to:

1. The season finale of Grey's Anatomy. {I prefer to watch online because there are no commercials}. Hmmm...to me this season underscores the seeming elusiveness of actually "having it all". Ironies. Ironies....Addison not being able to conceive just when she's ready to have a baby. Cristina could have had it--love and career. But she ended up being "free". Had she married Burke though, it was at the risk of losing the real her, because she kept on bending for him. And we thought they are the solid rock couple/team of them all. Callie's case is interesting too--she was chosen as the new head, but her marriage life is tenuous. Meredith and Derek are together, them being in love with each other and all that, but she's actually a broken and lost soul. I could go on...but in all, I LOVE SLOAN. Period.

2. The season 6 finale of 24 (online). Poor Jack. To love and have lost, to be constrained to let go of the one he loves...See? Even Jack Bauer can't have it all! Tsk, tsk. It's a running theme eh? So would you rather be successful in love or in your career?

3. Shrek 1 & 2 (on dvd). I think I now have tolerance for animated films. Prior Shrek 1 & 2, I only saw Ice Age. They are actually entertaining huh?

4. And...Kong. Finally! You wouldn't believe it I cried when they shot him. I was like, damn! How could this early edition guy didn't see it coming? And this school of rock guy sucks! Ok, seriously now....I really cried....

Mountain of Things

2007-05-28T02:01:00.000-04:00

Memorial day officially ushers in summer, I heard. And thus ends spring, and my impulsive spending. This long weekend I vowed to stay at home and not spend (particularly on any more travels or gimmicks for the time-being). I still did...as usual on coffee, ice cream and smirnoff. But I've managed to do my long overdue spring cleaning.....

My mess...

boxed some...

thrown shopping bags...

folded & hung...

and stuffed them in jarrraannnnn......

laundry bags!!!

I have quite a number of them, laundry bags. I know I could have done better. Get a decent storage box or something, and a nice label, but this is the best I can do for now...

I am tempted to post pics of the outcome. But this is not about renting my room. Someone might get envious and move in, nevermind.

Bottomline: IJ's proud of herself for making a good clean-up of her mess. Lessens the guilt-feelings for accummulating and storing so much stuff/garbage!

Wahaha

2007-05-11T15:55:00.000-04:00

Few more hours before this work week ends, here I find myself taking this quiz, thanks to Julie. I am reading your blog because I simply don't want to work on this report my boss asked me to finish today, on account that it's got everything to do with numbers (which would be more apparent/understandable after you finish reading my results).

This is really funny...Last night I had a performance evaluation session with him and he left me with a million dollar question. Well, technically two, which are: 1) what I intend to do with my life and 2) what would make me happy. Not a good sign haha, he was like..."you work well and pick up quick for a rookie but I don't want you to just fill in hours...you should find what makes you really happy". Now I could come up to him with a print out of this quiz, and have my answer pronto. Wahahaha! No, I am in fact trying to diversify...

Eh?

You scored as English/Journalism/Comm. You should strongly consider majoring (or minoring) in Communication, English, Film, Journalism, Literature, or Writing.

It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it.

Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal.

English/Journalism/Comm

100%

Visual&PerformingArts

94%

History/Anthropology/LiberalArts

88%

French/Spanish/OtherLanguage

88%

Psychology/Sociology

88%

Education/Counseling

81%

HR/BusinessManagement

75%

PoliticalScience/Philosophy

69%

Accounting/Finance/Marketing

69%

Religion/Theology

63%

Biology/Chemistry/Geology

56%

Physics/Engineering/Computer

31%

Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health

25%

Mathematics/Statistics

13%

WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU?
created with QuizFarm.com

Hmmm...I am mediocre at best with my major. Oh yeah, terrible in fact, if I use the other category... I shouldn't have shifted! I should have finished the BA English, Major in Creative Writing Program of CAL!!!

But if I didn't, then I wouldn't have met Julie, and would have never found out about this quiz. This is all your fault koks. Hahahaha...Perhaps it's a good thing we never finished our MA, apparently a complete waste of our time. What were we thinking? Lol!!!

Ok, back to your financial analysis slacker...

Smoke and Ashes

2007-04-26T01:46:00.000-04:00

I've been hooked with Tracy Chapman's music eversince I can remember. I can listen to her non-stop. It's a given so just don't let me explain. She is the female counterpart of Eddie Vedder in my list of all-time favorite musicians and lyricists. Vedder will also get his chance of discussion in this blog sometime =)

Anyhoooo...I have partly finished restoring my music library after my laptop crashed. Supposedly, i'll have it reformatted after making the necesary back-ups but it died all-too-suddenly. It left nothing at all for me. It took away all my research works and initial draft for my baby project. I hurt. Until now. I am still waiting for things to move so to speak. And waiting sucks. And don't ask, I just can't make things move now. I just can't...

Yup, the music library is a must, to sustain me, so I am trrrrryyyinggggg. And that's how I have gotten back to Chapman. And to her Smoke and Ashes song (in New Beginning released on November, 1995 but also in her TC Collection album released recently).

I've been hearing and humming that song forever. But only now that I look up the lyrics that I get to finally sing along correctly (lol). Man alive! What a mockery it is. Probably why I love the song even more (wide, wide, mischievous grin).

I just love references to fire. And I love how she puts it: a red hot heart. coolness! "passion fanning love's flame"? Hmmm...it's always a matter of how long you can keep the fire burning, eh? Sheeeessshhhh...you must have a lifelong supply of coal or log. Even solar energy isn't a guarantee. Cause you see, what struck me is something like ahhh...the sun that gives warmth is the very same sun that can leave you wilted?

Life's like that. For every action, there is always an equal or opposite reaction. Newton's law of motion, isn't it? Anyway, that makes life more worthwhile I'd say. And then you always have to find the balance so you could get going. You live, you learn.

Hmmm..opposites. Yup, how can you not love both fire and ice? I do. No matter what.

Oh well...at the end of the day, you could only hope that like a phoenix, you would be able to rise from your own ashes...

Interconnectedness or the lack of it

2007-04-18T01:56:00.000-04:00

Rarely that I get affected by news. I hardly read nor watch it. But the news on Virginia Tech shooting is something that isn't hard to miss. None of them I know, but I feel bad just the same. It draws several issues all at once: South Korea fearing a political backlash; 'Asians' fearing discrimination; campus security; the issue on gun control and gun laws in the US, etc. etc.

Random thoughts:

I respect that people have their own reason(s) for wanting to own/get one, but I really am not for gun ownership. I watched the Bowling for Columbine documentary by Michael Moore way way back. There, he not only talked about the Columbine HS massacre but pointed out the numbers on gun-related crimes in the U.S. compared to other developed countries. Ah, to grasp the 'complexity' of gun politics...Or, can we choose the simple economics of it? Like, it's all about the money. There is demand, so there is supply. Tell me about it again...

In a perfect world, South Koreans must not be scared of any backlash whatsoever. The offender's act reportedly was his alone and should not reflect the state of mind of the entire South Korean popluation here or in their home country. Hmmm....what perfect world again?

Campus security...life's like that. It just cheats on you sometimes, leaving you flat dead! I remember Nino Calinao. Shot in broad daylight too. Pointblank. Inside UP Campus, while waiting for our Econ 101 class (if i'm not mistaken) that was cancelled that day anyway. A case of mistaken identity relating to frat war daw. I mean, it's really sad. You go to school and then you die. Is it his fate? Is there really a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time?

Profile of an offender....loner? never speaks? just by himself all the time? no friends? You ever heard of that cliche, we should hear what people are not saying?

Oh well. keep the spirit stranger!

in the good old days

2007-03-20T13:39:00.000-04:00

Was cleaning my hardrive coz I need to have my laptop reformatted and saw this class pic. I have to smile, sheeezzzhhhh when was this exactly? Meds? Liloch? What class is this IPE? Beats me. Don't even know where I got a copy of this haha...

nagpapaka-babae ako

2007-03-08T13:17:00.000-05:00

'The history of all times, and of today especially, teaches that ... women will be forgotten if they forget to think about themselves.' - - Louise Otto

Pero para sa mga nagparamdam sa iba't ibang paraan...

1. Andito pa ako.

2. Magpaparamdam ako pag anjan na ako.

3. Binalik ko na sa ny yung lokasyon ko sa profile ko.

4. Hindi ko pinagwawalang bahala mga liham nyo. Di ko lang masagot. Nababasa ko lahat.

5. Oo, syempre magsisipaglakihan na sila. Marami na ang utang ko. Pero sa totoo lang di ko alam mga pangalan nila at kaarawan =)

6. Pasensya na. Suma tutal, wala ring mangyayari. Salamat.

7. Juleegurl: salamat sa valentine card, nakita ko yun.

8. Buddy: maligayang kaarawan. pinagdasal kita nun, at di ko nakalimutan.

9. Bonn: salamat. napangiti mo talaga ako. kita mo naman na inspire pa akong magsulat.

10. Mayang: congrats ulet ke Ysabel nga ba?

11. Mimi: alam kong magiging bongga galore at masaya ang iyong kasal. mabuhay kayo. wag kalimutang magpakalasing.

12. Zenk: email kita ng nobela.

13. Mantak: nyahaha, sana makadalo ako pero kelan ba talaga?

14. Vie at Sherwin: kelan nga ba? gusto kong makapunta talaga. at oo, ok lang ninang ako pagdating nang panahon.

15. Sly at Macy: congrats. nakita ko pic. ano ulet pangalan?

16. Erga: salamat. natawa ako dun.

17. Mylabs: tingin ko naman ok ka na. malapit nang matapos paghihintay mo. makukuha mo yun. balikan kita.

Hanggang sa muli!

Sting-y!

2007-03-01T11:54:00.000-05:00

Sheeeessshhhhhh...Sting and The Police (reunion) concert tickets. Freaking sold-out at ticketmaster. in all venues (within my area). on any price range. on the first day that tickets went on sale. and you go to other ticket sites/distributors and they're all there, all INFLATED!!!! of course, I am being STINGY!

Anyone out there willing to sell tickets to me at their actual price???!!!!

Big Empty Space

2007-02-16T12:47:00.000-05:00

I created a myspace account for networking. Mainly because of my imagined project. This is what I've written there.

And I have to admit: I am extremely disappointed and frustrated. All I keep on getting are adult add/band/friend requests. Thanks, but I am not there for dating, for crying out loud! And while some people e-mailed me directly, all they want to know is my credibility for attempting such a project. This I can tolerate. But man alive! If people can spend hours browsing the web--their respective myspace accounts--what is a couple of hours sharing their thoughts and experiences? By people I meant the second generation Fil-Ams who loiter online. Since they are one of my target groups or sectors. Since they are precisely who I was targeting in myspace. Since they are more at myspace than at friendster. Of course, myspace is just one venue I am trying to utilize to get materials...The chances of me accomplishing this project is totally a different story. I know that. But what frustrates me is the seeming futility of such an approach. Haha! Oh well...

Brand Consciousness

2007-02-15T17:06:00.000-05:00

My newly turned 4-year-old nephew, Gabby, was asking his folks to please get him a new pair of shoes. Specifically, that with a "check". If not that kind, that with "stars" will do.

This is the very same kid who's traumatized with my sistah's recent marriage. Naturally, she and her hubby were inseparable. On the few days the couple spent in Manila prior to their departure, he laments, "I don't like her anymore. She's always with her BOY!"

Now I entered the picture and tried talking to him. But I overheard him saying, "I don't like. I don't know her."

Sheeesssshhhh....consciousness is a tricky thing.

But I say: Gabby, Check, with all-stars!

I confess...

2007-01-22T12:12:00.000-05:00

I am guilty of sloth.

Friday after work I lingered in Virgin Records and ended up buying 5 cds. Still love them, cds. When I got home I listened like I had a deadline. And sang with Anthony Kiedis & the rest of Red Hot like I'd be having a gig. Until I fell asleep.

The entire weekend I spent watching the complete season 2 of 24. (8 discs in all). I started it on Saturday around 4pm. I called my friend to cancel our agreed upon gimmick of watching their band's gig somewhere in Queens that night. Told him I decided to meet with Bauer instead. Blame it on the cold weather. Now it really feels like winter, who wants to go out in teh damn cold? Definitely not me. Turned off my phone. Somewhere in the 5th disc I fell asleep, woke up at dawn, continued watching. Slept. Woke up noon-time of Sunday. Started where I ended. Stopped at 5pm. I was on the 7th disc. I was really sooo tired. I needed coffee. And went to church na rin. Home at 7pm, finished the last disc.

Bottomline: Here's the super dedicated Jack Bauer accomplishing the impossible in 24 hours (which left me spent and I was merely watching) . He did not even stop to eat. While I, am just a couch potato. Nyahaha...Now I remember my brother saying: Ate when you die and meet San Pedro, he'll show you a logbook. You'll see that more than half of your life you spent sleeping. What a waste! Me: yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever!!! (Damn jay, I concede. No matter where I am, it doesn't make any difference nyahaha!)

The 'Mark'

2007-01-19T17:43:00.000-05:00

Mark, mark, mark my world he does....

My Two Thousand and Six

2007-01-02T19:48:00.000-05:00

Instead of writing any resolutions for the new year (crap!) I am writing my all-time faves, or anything at all that made an impact on my existence this past year. They are not necessarily in order of importance/preference, but I'm writing at least five per category and I'm numbering them just so they'd look orderly.

My 2006 in songs:
1. No Ordinary Love (Deftones) -- I love Sade but I like this version.
2. Nobody Does it Better (Me First & the Gimme Gimmes)
3. I Can't Believe (hmmm. forgot her name, sowee)
4. Love Song (311)
5. No Brakes (The Bravey)
6. Blessing in Disguise (Tom Vek)
7. The More You Ignore Me, the Closer I Get (Morrissey)
8. Gagging Order (Radiohead)
9. Things That We Do to Each Other (Favourite Sons)
10. Crazy for You (Madonna) - this always makes it to my list every year

Fave Albums Acquired:
1. Give. Help. Listen (Urban Outfitter's Hurricane Relief CD)
2. The Best of Morrissey (Grrr..there is no How Soon Is Now!)
3. Achtung Baby (U2) - finally!
4. Tracy Chapman Collection (it's usually better that way)
5. Happenstance (Rachel Yamagata)

Movies (Hmmm...I remember mostly the recent ones I've seen)
1. Borat - need I say more? -- NOT!
2. Casino Royale (I'm never a Bond fan but with Craig, I'm an instant convert)
3. Blood Diamond (Even if the reviews say it's too preachy and the political side is shoved upon the viewers, at least it's informative and brings to the fore the many issues in this all-too-capitalist world. But I am most especially concerned about the plight of child soldiers).
4. Batman Begins (Christian is it? he's under-rated. I think he's good)
5. X-men (well this series I have always liked so no further explanations)
6. Scoop (I'm a fan of Woody Allen period. I know, this is not as intense as Matchpoint but it's funny ok? not to mention the gorgeousness of the long time object of my romantic interest-- Hugh Jackman)

I haven't seen any tagalog movies at all. No source.

TV Shows
(Disclaimer: I hate commercials, I can't stand them really so I usually watch TV shows when they're already in DVDs. I stopped watching the news ages ago. I read news on-line. When I do watch TV, I flip channel of course so that's how I'm able to see a lot of shows all at the same time, mostly the re-runs).

1. 24 (yeah I got hooked but i've watched it backwards) I am now starting with the very first season, the one they've shown in Pinas but which they dubbed in tagalog so it's annoying so I never saw it while there.
2. House (long live sarcasm, wit and irony!)
3. Sex and the City; Friends; Seinfeld {Re-runs that I never get tired of watching}
4. Grey's Anatomy
5. When all else fails, I do watch and enjoy HGTV, Court TV and documentary channels; Sometimes I leave it on the weather and spanish channels.

Notable Books Read
1. Eleven Minutes (Paulo Coelho). I have always liked Coelho anyway.
2. The Devil and Miss Prym (Paulo Coelho) -- tells of the struggle between good and bad among humans
3. Don't Tell Me What Love Is (Dan Rhode) -- a collection of short stories. Well yeah, essentially it responds to the perennial question of "what will you do for love?" They're all strange and twisted but yeah, goes back to the question.
4. Yellow (Janni Visman) -- focuses on the life of a woman who led a very sheltered and orderly life that eventually crumbles down; also dealt with paranoia bordering obsession; a suspense...
5. Play It as It Lays (Joan Didion)-- an ultra depressing story of a mom, a woman, a wife all in one who lost everything, hollywood style.
6. Without Blood (Alissandro Barico) -- a struggle of a gun-for-hire whose crime was witnessed by his victim's daughter whom he couldn't bear to kill and then meeting her several years later.

Hmmm...to those who accuse me of being cold and heartless, I was really affected by this story (sheeeeez....I forgot the title) but if I'm not mistaken, it's in a collection of short stories entitled "Ice Cream."

It's a classic story: that between bestfriends whose families are feuding; they have adjacent properties divided by a river. Each ordered not to see each other or it's going to be bloody, like whoever crosses the boundary will be shot. On their last secret meeting, they were saying their goodbyes and promised to remain friends. The guy was also going to an ivy-league college, he was the better-off one while the girl is forced to stay in their town since her family's going bankrupt. So anyway, they were by the river and the girl slipped and knocked her head off the rock (C'mon accidents happen okai?). She was gravely injured and bleeding profusely (yeah super dramatic portrayal). So the guy ran for help but oblivious of where he was going, he veered towards the side of the girl's property. He saw her dad and he was shouting and crying for help and running as fast as he could all at the same time. But the girl's dad, keeping his word, just aimed the shot gun at him and fired, hitting him in the eye and therefore he ended up blind. Oh to be selfless and loving.....Well, but that's how tragedies are supposed to be anyway.

Man alive! My thoughts exactly:
1. Why do men have to own guns?
2. Seriously, health is wealth!
3. In the end, what was it all worth?

Items most spent on:
1. Shoes (still, dammit!)
2. CDs (won't change)
3. vintage shirts (on clothes) oh and
4. some coats too (I had to, I'm still here! And guess what, it hasn't snowed yet and this winter is one of the warmest they say. Smart ass, I am!).

Trips that I really enjoyed:
1. Michigan (April)
2. Florida (August)

Fave Gift Received: My Ipod I now call Pola (June)

All-time Food/Drink: Dunkin's cappuccino (with one sugar); grapes; cherries and ice cream

Winner activity:

Red Hot Chilli Peppers' Concert (October)

Activities I would have wanted to do but never got to doing:
1. seeing a real penguin
2. going to California
3. learning Spanish
4. getting a DL and 5. going to a cemetery

I'm so tired of typing now, and frankly, I think I've covered everything.

Low Battery

2006-12-29T12:37:00.000-05:00

At the subway on my way to work earlier, I noticed that my ipod's battery (Pola, his name) was red. Low batt obviously and I suddenly laughed. Sheeesshhh can't help it, no wonder my seatmate stared oddly a tme. Nothing really, it's just that I recall, when walkman was at its heydey before, you need not even look. You just hear your music simply goes out of tune...Ah I miss that, backmasking nyahaha...rewinding non-stop, looking at the...um how do you call it, counter? Then you have to remember at exactly what number you press the "stop" button so the song you want to hear would play just right on time. Oh and when your cassette tape player is dirty it eats up your tape and you end up pulling that brown thingy and roll it back carefully. sheeesshhhh...I miss that. I wonder if our old cassette player still works. Perhaps not anymore...(sigh)

Durian Durian

2006-12-18T14:27:00.000-05:00

If you are riding a public transportation, YOU MUST SMELL GOOD. Well, I’m already down with the flu, and I have runny nose and all but I could still smell him….I had to change train car! No, I refuse to accept that it’s got something to do with the winter season, or one's nationality, or the kind of food we eat. Yeah, I get that but the more the reason you have to watch your hygiene. Man alive! Sheer courtesy to fellow-commuters?!!???

Hah! Which reminds me of Ging’s story on durian. Ging folks, is one of my favorite guys originally from Davao. He’s a good friend of my co-worker. Last Friday, we met again at a party. He was telling us that during their short vacation in Pennsylvania—they have visiting family friends/relatives from Davao—they brought durian. Knowing that the fruit stinks, they carefully wrapped it in paper. Then, they put it in an orange plastic bag (the likes that are used when you shop at the Chinese grocery stores). Because of the smell, they had to leave the mummified durian by the doorstep of the villa they were staying.

The following morning, the durian was gone! And find it he must. So he made inquiries with neighbors and one of them told him the garbage has just been collected. So he drove around the compound for about 30 minutes looking after the garbage truck/collector. Alas, he found him, and he was so excited at a glimpse of an orange plastic bag on top of the garbage. And to the collector he goes, “I think you have something that belongs to me”. The collector says, “Really? What is it?” He says, “that orange plastic bag”. “Oh that stinky plastic bag?” the collector said. And he said, “yes, that is my food!” And that is how he got reunited with durian…

By the way, I didn’t know ‘til Friday that you don’t harvest them. Instead, you wait ‘til they fall from the tree, which happens at nighttime only. And I haven’t tasted an actual fruit yet. Just those durian flavored candies…

Bottomline is: One can do something about one’s hygiene. Every human being must and can take a bath with or without hot water! Plus, there are plenty of laundromats...On the other hand, the stinky smell of durian is basically its distinct feature and nothing can be done about it.

pretty boys

2006-12-13T14:20:00.000-05:00

Nya-ha-ha-ha! I am laughing out loud seeing this video. Man alive! I didn't know 'twas this jologs til now, thanks to you tube. I'm tuned in to pandora and it played this song so I you-tubed it and viola! Boyband! eww..... I have always liked this song pa mandin. Yeah, in highschool I listen to "Breathe". My labs, remember this? This was you song for "Gardo" {oh yeah, "spirit" to you} di ba? nyahahaha.....

going local & cheesy =)

2006-12-11T02:07:00.000-05:00

I can't bear to be ultra sentimental again by reading updates on what happened in Albay. So here I am moving away from that news on to mundane stuff. GO ON JUDGE ME...

So yeah, we started with Narda. Then came Lumbay of Wickermoss. You should hear this Suntok sa Buwan. I thought it's Nadal's. Kaya pala di ko mahanap, it's actually Session Road's. Btw, to rakistas out there, I'm sorry, I don't know what's the correct term: local or opm? Basta all I meant is Filipino music okai...

If you like "Lumbay" so much, then this is it's counterpart. Lumbay is for you as Suntok sa Buwan is for me (go figure). The rendition is all that matters in this review, is what I meant. Forget about the cheesy-ness and banality of the lyrics cause that's how a lovesong usually goes 'nyway sa mga local songs.

I remember, we were so moved by how "Lumbay" was sung and so we got hooked with it. She radiates super loneliness. The character's so forlorn and dejected, resigned to that sad fate. But I've been listening to this "Suntok sa Buwan" recently (and now on a repeat mode as I write) and I prefer her character for some odd reason. Though the subjects of each song are both losers basically, I sort of like this "Suntok sa Buwan" persona/rendition. She's also torpe but listen cause she's got angst and zest despite the seeming hopelesness of the relationship. Nanakot pa daw =) but there goes the spirit! Hmmm...HERE YOU CAN'T JUDGE ME.

Ganito na lang...i'll write down the lyrics. you tell me.... Both songs have repetitive lyrics so no sense in rewriting the subsequent paragraphs (with matching repeat 3x ekek). I figured, I was talking about how the artists sang their respective songs, so belatedly, I am adding a link for the video (go, click on the song title and listen =)

Lumbay
{Wickermoss}

Paghihintay, sa iyo’ di na alintana
Pagkalumbay, tila nakasanayan na
Abot kamay ang langit sa tuwing ika’y panaginip
Tangi kong inaasam di na yata pa makakamtam
Iniwang pangako ng kahapon na
umaga’y gigisingin ng sinag ng araw
Pag-asa pinawi na ng takot na para bang mananatiling mag-isa
Ayoko ng isipin pa

Suntok sa Buwan
{Session Road}

Hindi mo ba alam damdamin ko’y pinagtakpan
Makasama ka’y suntok sa buwan
‘Di mo nga alam, mundo mo nga’y iyong tignan
Kung ganyan, walang pupuntahan
Hindi ko ‘to gusto, pero ‘wag kang lalayo
Itanong mo sa akin at tatanungin ko rin
Kung ika’y aamin lahat ay gagawin
‘Di mo napapansin kailangan mo akong dinggin
‘Di habang buhay ika’y aantayin
Ito’y aking hiling at sana naman ay tanggapin
Ng puso ko’y ‘di nabibitin

Anyway, you should listen to "Kwarto" of Sugarfree as opposed to "Narda" of Kamikaze. Male characters. Male dramatics. Male perspective.

Hmmm..feelings, nothing more than feelings....Period.

Happy birthday Bengali =)